I love this whole thing! I'm a scientist too (physical chemist), now wondering what I missed when harvesting all those potatoes last fall. Also, your first stanza reminded me of a little rhyme my mother would sing to me in the bathtub: "I wish I were a little cake of soap, 'cause I'd slippy and I'd slidey all over your little hidey, oh I wish I were a little cake of soap." Your writings are deeply entertaining and satisfying, probably not unlike sex with a potato. Thank you! :D