Well, Duuude, I don't forgive you! This is such a brilliant piece that the rest of us are left behind in quicksand, flopping and flailing and flinging fists full of farting frog feces in your general direction. Hah! Take that! (I'll never admit it, but I actually loved it!). :D
Science lover, contributing editor at SalishMagazine.org, co-editor of The Open Kimono. Send us your edgiest stuff! https://medium.com/the-open-kimono